I Want My Money Back!

I want my money back!  The venders hiked up the price on the popcorn and soda, and they’ve made a covert deal with the theater across town.  I can tell because the prices in that theater are just as high if you take into consideration the quality of the facilities and the surrounding neighborhood.  I bet I could smuggle some soda in here, but it wouldn’t be socially acceptable . . . even though everyone else realizes the swindling as well. 

I’m not enjoying the show.  The previews promised more excitement, better graphics, strong romance, and a little comedy.  The reality of the show is different.  There’s no climax, just surging anticipation and subsequent disappointment followed by more surging anticipation and more upsetting disappointment.  And another thing, I can fucking tell you the ending right now.  The main character will die alone, depressed, and disappointed.  OH! I get it! This is one of those movies you have to be fucked-up to enjoy.  This is much better.  -antiwasp

Filed under: Artistic Writing, Culture, Death, Economy, General Sarcasm, Lessons Learned, Recommendations, Self Actualization, Wisdom, World Wide Policy

Unacceptable Utterances

This is my house!  A woman didn’t pay for this god-damned house, a man did.  As far as I can tell you’re a fucking freeloading guest living here.  So, if I choose to lose my iPod, blame everyone else in the house for taking it, and I find it a month later in a place that only I could have left it, it’s my choice to do that because this is my fucking house.  Shut your face, don’t complain!  You can pack your shit and go if you ever nag me about tracking mud into the house after you mopped the floor.  Here’s what I want you to do: make me believe that you believe me when I tell you that I’ll clean it up later.  I want to see the understanding in your eyes that I’m tired from work and I want to see that you realize that you stayed home all day and got to play with the kids.  Hell, even if my mud is still there an hour later believe that I’ll clean it up because I care about this house . . . I paid for it.  You seem not to understand what it’s like to have to go to work every day.  So I’ll say it again, don’t worry about those dirty dishes in the sink.  I’ll wash them in the morning or maybe after work tomorrow, or whenever I get a chance.  By the way, thanks for dinner.  It needed a little salt, but it was pretty good.  When do the kids go to sleep?  -antiwasp

Filed under: Artistic Writing, Relationships

THING TO BELIEVE IN

I want to believe in something.  I want to cling to a cause.  I want to be a part of something bigger than me . . . bigger than anyone.  I’ll gladly sacrifice for it.  My THING TO BELIEVE IN will bring with it camaraderie and real connection with other souls that are just like me and believe just as strongly as me in my THING TO BELIEVE IN.  My comrades and I will discuss our THING TO BELIEVE IN that we share together, it unites us.  We’ll hope together and talk about how great our THING TO BELIEVE IN is, and how much work there is to do to fully attain our THING TO BELIEVE IN.  We’ll plot our course and develop our strategy on how best to shape the THING TO BELIEVE IN so it can reach its fullest potential in a flawless form.  Our THING TO BELIEVE IN will bring joy to so many people that it’s almost inconceivable.  In fact, it is inconceivable to most people, but not to us because we can see it . . . we’re enlightened.  We’re the drivers.  It’s going to be great.  -antiwasp

Filed under: Artistic Writing, Self Actualization