I Want My Money Back!

I want my money back!  The venders hiked up the price on the popcorn and soda, and they’ve made a covert deal with the theater across town.  I can tell because the prices in that theater are just as high if you take into consideration the quality of the facilities and the surrounding neighborhood.  I bet I could smuggle some soda in here, but it wouldn’t be socially acceptable . . . even though everyone else realizes the swindling as well. 

I’m not enjoying the show.  The previews promised more excitement, better graphics, strong romance, and a little comedy.  The reality of the show is different.  There’s no climax, just surging anticipation and subsequent disappointment followed by more surging anticipation and more upsetting disappointment.  And another thing, I can fucking tell you the ending right now.  The main character will die alone, depressed, and disappointed.  OH! I get it! This is one of those movies you have to be fucked-up to enjoy.  This is much better.  -antiwasp

Filed under: Artistic Writing, Culture, Death, Economy, General Sarcasm, Lessons Learned, Recommendations, Self Actualization, Wisdom, World Wide Policy

Old Sluts: the Root of Circumcisions

Old sluts are responsible for the circumcision of their grandchildren.  There aren’t any considerable health benefits to circumcision . . . especially when hunter and gatherer societies conducted the act of circumcising before the availability of antibacterial products and anesthesia.  Grandmas helped young mothers raise children because grandma already passed childbearing age and had the time to help.  Grandma, in her old sluttiness, insisted on circumcision being conducted in her grandchildren.

Men have loads of nerve endings in their penis tips so that they will enjoy sex – leading to the proliferation of the species.  Men also have masses of nerve endings in their fingers, so that they can be sensitive to touch.  Human fingers become less sensitive to touch over the course of human lives because the skin over fingers grows thicker and more leathery as man consistently touches rough surfaces.  It’s a protection measure for man’s nerve endings.  Laborers grow thicker skin over their fingers (callouses) than non-laborers.  But, no matter what man’s occupation as he ages his fingers become less sensitized.  The same thing happens to the exposed (circumcised) tip of the penis.  An exposed tip rubs against rough clothing and over time penises lose sensitivity.  The foreskin, if left uncut, protects the penis and sustains its moisture so that it won’t grow leathery and remains sensitive. 

The climax of a woman is more prolonged than a man’s.  It takes her longer to get there.  There’s nothing more disappointing to a woman about sex than premature ejaculation.  High sensitivity in the penis causes premature ejaculation.  Hunter and gatherer grandmothers, over the course of their lives, had multiple partners in the sack.  They spent hours, days, and weeks talking with other sluts about their sexual experiences.  Collectively, they realized that circumcised men lasted longer in the hay, and satisfied women more often than uncircumcised men.  Grandma insisted on the circumcision of her grandchildren.  -antiwasp

Filed under: Culture, Evolution, Parenting, Relationships, Time, World Wide Policy

Cowardice and Greener Grasses

Why can’t I scrap my worldly possessions, break my relational ties, and set off on foot around the globe to discover god, myself, and internal peace?  No one could stop me if I decided I wanted to break camp.  So I must be the one standing in the way of myself.  Why would I do that when nothing sounds better than chucking my stresses?  Cowardice. 

I fear disappointing others.  I fear the unknown.  I fear that I won’t like me once I find me, or that there isn’t a god to discover, or that internal peace is really just loneliness.  I fear jumping for a dream because I might fall off the ledge.  What if the un-materialistic life is not what I want once I get it?  What if I have to crawl back to my relations to beg for a small part of my life back?  Maybe we’re brainwashed by that “grass is always greener” saying to keep us from doing what we really want to do.  That fucking phrase halts dreams.   -antiwasp

Filed under: Character, Culture, Religion, Self Actualization, Wisdom