Fag (not that there’s anything wrong with that) Beers

Real fucking men like their coffee without cream, sugar, cherries, nutmeg, or any other fruity shit.  When men go to Starbucks we’re restricted to ordering coffee or coffee with espresso shots.  That’s fucking it.  If you order a latte I’ll swoop in and snatch your god-damned “man card,” smack you in the face with it, and piss on it (while standing up).   

 It’s the same way with beer.  Real fucking men drink mass-produced American Style Pilsners.  Fuck the following beer types:

• Porters
• Belgian Whites
• bitch-ass Milk Stouts
• Pale Lagers
• Ales
• Wheat Beers
• or any other gay ass (not that there’s anything wrong with being gay) shit beers in need of fruit

 I’m tired of mother fuckers adding lemons to their beer.  If you need citrus zest in your fucking beer I bet you need zest in your butt (not that there’s anything wrong with that).  You probably need some zest down your throat, too (again, nothing wrong with that).  I don’t want to hear about how you can “really taste the barley or the hops or the fucking oats.”  Unapproved topics about beer include:

• Aroma
• Mouth-feel
• Yeast
• Grains
• Hops
• Cereals

 If you can’t stick to man-topics of discussion shut the fuck up and drink, or don’t drink.  

 The only approved beer type is the American Style Pilsner.  There’s an ass load of them.  They’re widely available, and they’re the cheapest beers on the shelf.  There’s no excuse.  I’ll fucking shit on your man card (standing up).  Quit being fags (not that there’s anything wrong with that).  -antiwasp

Filed under: Homosexuality

Women in the Military: Opinion

I don’t like working with women.  It’s not because I think they don’t work as hard as men, or that they are less competent, but because my wife doesn’t like it.  She gives me shit, unbearable shit.  I don’t lie to my wife as a matter of principle so she knows when I’m working closely with women, and I’m obligated to treat the women I work with in the same manner that I would treat a man so I have to be friendly with them.  My wife cannot stand it when I get phone call from the women who work for me, but the spreading of cell phone numbers among the group is part of being in the army.  We’re always on call.

I will say this . . . when I get to a high enough position where I can pick who will work for me I will do everything I can to pick all males.  The less women I work with the better for my relationship, and the easier my life will be.  It’s not men that keep women from advancing in the workplace . . . it’s the wives of employers.  At this point, I’d rather have open homosexuals than women in military.  It’d make my life much easier.  -antiwasp

Filed under: Character, Culture, Homosexuality, Military, Relationships, Social Life, Wisdom, Family, Gender, Homosexuality, Military, Relationship, Workplace Dynamics

Ode to Monster

There it is . . . that welcomed elated release.  It’s the sadistic escape from the cage that once contained.  Now all-embracing freedom.  I’m talking fuming rage with gnashing of teeth, nauseating eternal spinning, sudden liberated falling among the stars that dart across the sky, and heart exploding behind beaten ribs like the drum and bass at the Austin City Music Hall in 1998 at the apex of the growing rave scene.  Time has neither paused nor maintained.  It concluded its own present and past existence, thereby halting any hope of a future.  Then time bludgeoned space in a spiteful assault, and hence forth boundaries between objects blended creating a single continuum.  So, here, yet not, is zilch and the whole in a solitary drop greater than 60 universes and as undersized as the eye of the needle thru which a camel has never passed until now, during this endless instant.  This is the all-knowing, ever-present, beyond good and evil working Jedi mind tricks . . . THIS IS NITROUS MONSTER SUPER DRY! -antiwasp.wordpress.com

Filed under: Artistic Writing, Character, Culture, Death, Economy, Education, Environment, General Sarcasm, Health Care, Homosexuality, Jail/Prison, Lessons Learned, Media, Military, Politics, Relationships, Religion, Restaurant, Hotel, Cafe, Business, Revolution, Self Actualization, So there I was . . ., Social Life, Sports, Technology, Time, Uncategorized, Wisdom, World Wide Policy, Apex, art, Climax, Energy Drink, English, Existence, Fun, Monster, Peak, Pinnacle, Poem, Prose, Space, Summit, Time, Writing, Zenith