Complicated People

I enjoy complicated people. Seeing their complexity makes them beautiful. Their internal struggles, needs, insecurities make them human. I don’t realize this most of the time, but I had an epiphany a few minutes ago. My contrast is Bilbo. Bilbo is not complicated, and I like him, but I don’t think he could ever be my closest friend. He’s simple enough not to be human. Now, I know if I did put more time into our relationship he’d be loyal, available, and excited to spend time with me. But I don’t think our friendship would be fulfilling for me. My wife, on the other hand, is complicated. Her family calls me for answers. I guess they hope that I’ve discovered her secrets . . . I haven’t and I won’t. She hasn’t, and even if she does she won’t let me in, because deep down she knows that the complexity is interesting to me. I’m complicated, too. She calls it secretive. But it’s not that. I just want to be treated one way in one moment, and another way the next. I have triggers, and insecurities, and pleasurable thoughts that are mine alone. As it is with her, I don’t know that I’ve figured myself out either. I do know that if she does decipher me I’ll be less interesting to her. -antiwasp

Filed under: Relationships, Self Actualization, So there I was . . ., Wisdom

100%

There are periods when I don’t know where I stand with my superiors, peers, and subordinates at work.  I do try my hardest, and I’ve been told all my life that “all anyone can ask for is that you give 100%.”  I guess that old adage is engrained into my psyche, because when I try my hardest and my hardest isn’t good enough my reality rips at the seams.  Simple comments, made by unexpected people, at the right times can affect me even when things are going really well.  Single comments can, for some reason, make me question my entire worth as a person and the value that I’ve added to the world.

I wish I could be invulnerable, that impenetrable guy who is unaffected by the influence of others.  But, I can’t.  -antiwasp

Filed under: So there I was . . .

Republican Liar Holding a Sign

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30 hours at $8 an hour x 52 weeks = $12,480. 1 year average state university cost = $7,650. Cheap house = $500 rent x 12 months in a year = $6,000 without utilities. Ramen and hot dogs for a month = $100 x 12 = $1,200…$12,480 – 7,650 – 6,000 – 1,200 = the fact that the majority of middle and lower class Americans cannot do this.  -antiwasp

Filed under: Education, Politics, So there I was . . .